You can keep running away
Exhausting yourself out
But it's always that.
The possibility of healing
Where you left the wound
Where you moved on
You tried to forget
But you only found emptiness
Because you left a piece of you
Together with so much of your courage
The courage you used to have, facing everything
Now you really are on your own
You pushed away everyone, everyone who wants to get to know you
People betray you, and keep betraying
Your own race, you see their true colours now?
You realise, all those years abroad, you tried to defend your identity, what was that identity?
As you know now, it wasn't your country, it wasn't your race, it wasn't your fellow muslim comrades either.
So who did you have with you?
If you really do know what you are fighting for, you could easily answer "Allah."
But you can't.
You know why?
Because you are not doing it for Him.
Which part of your heart is more broken than the broken promises to devote your life for His deen?
Keep exhausting yourself out. That lack of sleep, that cold part of you, keep them. See how far you can get living like that.
Angkuh. Sombong. Padahal kau jalan di bumi Tuhan.
Which part of your heart is more broken than the broken promises to Your Lord?
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5.06 am, 6 Oktober 2016