Write Down Your Worries!

Daniel Wong's tips and articles are my favourite.

I returned home after 5 months being away from home, without coming back for even a holiday. I thought I would pay his article on a top student's principles a visit, and ended up browsing through his popular posts.

I came across this quote:

"In one experiment,[11] researchers at the University of Chicago discovered that students who wrote about their feelings about an upcoming exam for 10 minutes performed better than students who didn’t. The researchers say that this technique is especially effective for habitual worriers." (Daniel Wong, 2016)

It was under the subtitle "Write down your worries" in one article, I think something about study smart vs. study hard.

I was suddenly reminded of my anxiety before my Legal Research paper, I poured out my feelings in this blog. Hours after my exam, I regretted it. The previous purpose of this blog was to da'wah, and I ended up spilling out my personal anxiety and insecurities.

However, I felt comforted after reading Daniel's article. I remember feeling fine just before Legal Research exam, and how anxious I was before Tasawwur exam, where I did not write down my worries back then.

So be it.

I think, in dakwah we don't have to pretend when you accept the call to do good deeds, you will always be happy. That it will always be that "kemanisan iman" era.

You will still have problems. You will still have anxiety, insecurities, worries, calamities, and so on.

So let's keep it real.

The process of falling, the real process and progress of slowly, struggling to pick up the shattered pieces, gathering your courage, and painfully getting up. Back on your feet. Man up, build yourself again. All of that. We have to confront all these.

Keep it real and truthful. Don't hide behind "ketenangan" anymore. It is different when you need 10 minutes of dhikr then you feel energetic and when you need to cry in your tahajud every night begging for His mercy, strength and courage because you're so broken. The degree of brokenness is different. Don't cover that up.

From now on if people ask me if I'm okay, and I'm not, I will say no.
If I'm tired, I will say so.
When I'm worried, as I do now... on whether I had answered 'the rule of recognition' right, I will write it down. Be it on a piece of paper or on here.

No more pretending, that all will be well, just because of a single moment of submission. We are humans, our faith has its ups and downs. Let's keep that in mind. We trash our friends that voice their anxiety or hide away in sadness saying if you really are orang beriman and you perform your ibadah you wouldn't be like this.

But different people have different limits. They have different background, different tests, and we are in no position to judge that.

For the last time, let's keep it real.

Mencari damai yang hilang

Iffah Nabiha

12.37 am, bonding with little brother in the living room


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